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3 Lessons I've Learned Raising Kids
By Chin Chin
Kids are a gift from God. I'm glad that God has given us children - 5 actually - 5 blessings from the Lord. Though we celebrate having them, parenting kids is never easy. It has its ups and downs. It is an everyday challenge. In this intel, I would like to share 3 lessons I've learned from raising kids. There are a lot to share but I will just limit this intel to three. Lesson number 1 - Each child is unique. Many times, we as parents can't help ourselves but compare one child to another. We often say "Why can't you be like your sister or brother?" "Your sister or brother is doing better." I know that our intention is to probably correct an action or an attitude that he is doing wrong and his sister or brother is doing right. But, if we do not watch our words, it may lower the confidence and self-worth of our child. Moreover, this child may develop jealousy and dislike for his sister or brother. Let's just avoid such words and instead deal with the child's behavior or attitude individually. No need to compare. And because each child is unique, it is much better to find the good in each one. Look out for his special talent and develop that. Help him to reach his own full potential. Lesson number 2 - Be fair. I don't know if there are any siblings who do not quarrel. If there is, I envy them. This is one of the hardest things to deal with in siblings - quarrels. In such a time, we've got to be fair. We must not show favoritism but should deal with the issues objectively. We should enforce discipline without partiality. Or else, we will hear our children say "What about brother?" "Why is it that it's always me?" And this will instill hatred or self-pity in our child. Lesson number 3 - Love must be tough. Kids are cute but by nature they are selfish and manipulative. They want to do things their own way. They want to have things for themselves. If they can't have what they want, they will cry or have tantrums just to manipulate mom and dad to give in. Well, our love must be tough. It means that because we love our children, we must be tough and not give in to what they want at all times. This is especially true concerning those things that will not be good for them. We cannot give them everything they want. Sometimes, we give in just to make them stop annoying us, or humiliating us in public by doing their tantrums. Love must be tough. If we let our children realize that they cannot have everything they want, they will learn to share, to respect and to be obedient. Not only that. They will learn that that is the reality of life. For this, they will thank us parents when they are grown-up. |
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 | | Laraine agreed with this intel. Jun 25, 2011 |
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I've successfully fathered five offspring, and I've done that by following one piece of advice offered by my father. He said to me: 'If you haven't yet, don't, but if you did, do it the best way you can' He's a funny old man, but I love him eternally for his unusual way of looking at life.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Congratulations for having fathered 5 offspring. That we have something in common - 5 kids. Good piece of advice from your father. We do need to do our best in raising our children - so that no regrets in the end. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Excellent suggestions. Another piece of advice is to avoid warning too much. If discipline is called for, it should be given promptly. The book Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World urges: “Calm, confident, and firm—that’s what authority is all about.” Also in The German Tribune: “Always talk to the child in such a way as to hold its attention: use its name often, keep eye-to-eye contact and use simple language.” Good advice me thinks.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Thanks Laraine for adding more wise advice to this intel. I would also apply what you have suggested to my efforts raising my kids.
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This intel was contributed by sahm
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